Bait And Switch At The Ball Game

In the fall of 1984, I was in the 8th grade at Largo Middle, and one Friday night I went to a Largo High football game all by myself.  I often watched ball games that way, interested in the outcomes, and not interested in the social activities.  My neighborhood chum “Gary” also went to the game, and approached me with this gal pal I knew at the time, an attractive brunette who I’ll call “Hannah” here.

This one evening, Gary is trying to set me up to get me laid at the ripe old age of 13.  He gets me thinking that it’s going to be with Hannah, which would have been quite a score because I’m fond of her.  Instead, I find out that Gary and Hannah are actually trying to get me set up with Hannah’s friend “Bertha”, also a brunette but also a heavy-set girl, just as I was a heavy-set boy.  I don’t even think Bertha was interested in me, just going thru the motions and trying to coax me into whatever mischief awaited me that night.

Plus, I didn’t have any rubbers on me.  What 13 year-old kid carries prophylactics?

My “Spidey Sense” was pretty good back then, despite me not being a big-time social flower.  After seeing and hearing this for a few minutes, I walk away.  I smelt some kind of ruse, and I was also afraid that somehow Bertha was going to be used by Hannah and Gary just as I was, even though she appeared to be in on the gag.

I don’t need matchmakers.  I know what I like.


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