The Supreme Court has just decided that same-sex marriage will now be legal in 50 states. As a practicing heterosexual man in my adult life, I say it’s about time.
Note that I said my adult life. Yes, I have something to share with you, and today will be that day.
I had a male neighbor about my age who peer-pressured me into having sex with him. It was something that began as experimentation one January off-day from school in 1984 when I was 12, and ended when I was 17 sometime in 1989 when we each graduated high school. I’ve never had sex with any other man in my life, and he used it as a show of power over me more often than not. All my sexual contacts thereafter have been with women, which is my preference.
One day in the summer in 1984 at a neighbor’s pool, he kept exposing himself to me with only he and I in there, which really annoyed me. What was happening between us was supposed to be a secret by agreement, and here he was flaunting it around haphazardly. So I bit him down there, hard enough to get his attention, but not hard enough to damage him. He left me alone for a good year after that. A few days later the pool incident, a lot of my neighborhood friends starting call me “faggot” and the like (while he never got in trouble…how did THAT happen?), which scarred me to the point where I kept a very low profile the rest of the time I was in middle school and high school.
By the late 1980’s, it seemed he was always trying to get me caught with him in a compromising position. I’d knock on the door, and he’d answer it naked. When I’d decline his advances and would stalk off and leave without saying a word, oddly enough, his mother would come home from work a few minutes later.
He wasn’t a good friend, just another user, and I was so surrounded by the users that if someone sincere came around, I’d probably think they were users too. He’s on Facebook, and I have no desire to talk to him, despite him sending me a few friend requests through the years.
In 1990, when I was working at WTAN at the age of 19, I fell in love with my first girlfriend. But oddly enough, the girlfriend’s father set me down for a man to man talk right after I began dating. He asked if I had ever experimented with having sex with other boys. saying that he experimented with a male cousin back in his day.
The times being what they were a quarter century ago, I denied it, which I regret. I had no way of knowing that if I had admitted it, I’d lose my girlfriend just as quickly as I had found her.
My Uncle Peter was gay, but it was something I wasn’t aware of until around 1987. Him being gay really didn’t have an influence on me. He passed away in 1991 in San Francisco from AIDS, something I didn’t find out for a good decade and a half later. I think our family, perhaps on a subconscious level, thought he was a bad influence on us.
Today I’m thinking of my uncle, wishing he were alive to see this day, the joy in people’s hearts on the steps of the Supreme Court. Trust me, this ruling is a GOOD thing.