A Few Of Pauly’s Laws

  • Go out of your way to be nice to people at Christmas time. Some people appreciate you saying Merry Christmas, some like Happy Holidays. Make the effort, you have a 50/50 shot at getting it right. This supercedes all of my other laws.
  • Most women with blonde hair are brunettes in denial.
  • The dumbest question out there is the one you don’t ask.
  • During most of the year, if someone who doesn’t like you doesn’t have you on their radar, don’t do anything to get on it, because they might get off of yours.
  • If someone criticizes you for saying something they had recently said, there’s no choice. Call them out on it. You may lose face if you don’t.
  • If you like someone, don’t keep it to yourself…unless you’re married or have other attachments.
  • If someone makes a good point you hadn’t thought about, admit it.
  • When you’re with someone you love, just remember: we all look generally the same with out clothes off, but gravity is a real bitch, and if it hasn’t happened to you yet, give it time.
  • In baseball, a “grand slam home run” is redundant to say.
  • A friend in need isn’t a pest, but a pesty friend is always good to avoid if you can do it without ruffling feathers.
  • When faced with multiple tasks, and some seem difficult and others not so difficult, do the difficult ones FIRST. The smaller stuff will seem much smaller by comparison.
  • The best plans you can possibly have are the ones you keep to yourself.
  • What they said in The Godfather about not telling anyone what you’re thinking? It’s TRUE.
  • If it is to be, it’s up to me. If you make mistakes, admit them.
  • Never worry about things dealing with time, as in, “Why did so-and-so wait UNTIL now to talk to me?” You can’t control everything everyone else does, and with time, almost everything balances out.
  • Anything good can wait. Anything not good, it wouldn’t matter anyway.
  • If you think you have enough toilet paper, get more.
  • If you can’t close the lid of your garbage can, take it out. It’s trying to get away from you.
  • Always apologize when you burp or fart. Better to admit your guilt, because it happens to all of us.
  • If you have to think about whether or not you’re either farting or pooping, assume the latter.
  • Always tell the people you’re closest to that you love them. It’s not like they (or you) have an expiration date attached to them.
  • The God I know – I think he’d be very unhappy if people were killing others in his name.
  • Fake people always show themselves with time and persistence. It can’t constantly be hidden.

And that’s all I can think of for now…

2 thoughts on “A Few Of Pauly’s Laws”

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