Flashback: “Rock-A-Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody” by Jerry Lewis

On this last Labor Day weekend of the 2010’s – I thought I’d answer the question of whether or not Jerry Lewis ever had a hit record.

Why, yes – yes he did. This particular song that was first published in 1918 by many performers gave Jerry his biggest hit in 1956.

Still weird not seeing him on during the Labor Day weekend – though he passed away in 2017 and his last telethon was in 2011.

Watching Dorian

As they say around Christmastime, ’tis the season. We’re watching another candidate for a hurricane in Dorian – and I’m in that little “finger” down and to the left of the “FL” in Florida.

My early hunch at this point is that this track they have Dorian on, hitting the Central Florida east coast and maybe crossing over to the Gulf of Mexico – that probably doesn’t wind up happening, because storms hitting northeast Florida are as rare as a hurricane hitting Tampa Bay. The odds would seem to suggest another path might emerge that’s more common – not that I wish that on Georgia or the Carolinas.

If it were to come across Florida – how fast does it weaken by the time it got just north of me, assuming that’s the path it takes?

Too early to know now. If events warrant, I’ll keep you posted. As for know, I’m a bit skeptical that this winds up being ours.

The Campaign

As I’ve been mentioning, the past few days in my life have been quite the eye opener. For the first time in a long time, I’m seeing things about myself that I’ve never seen before, and I’ve been sharing these “revelations” (for the lack of a better phrase) with you.

In light of this and more recent difficulties, I’ve started up a GoFundMe page that explains what I’ve been going through. We’re in dire need of help, sooner rather than later.

Regardless of whichever way that goes, I’ll be here, updating as I can, and as long as I can.

The Days That Changed Me, I Hope

I’m spilling my guts out tonight. You all are just going to have to deal with it.

Often on this blog, I talk about sports, politics, what have you. You know why? I’m too damn afraid to talk about myself most of the time. How far some people think I have fallen, that sort of thing.

My most recent job – where I worked for an “energy company” that switches energy suppliers with that all too familiar (to me) telephonic slight of hand. There were two calls I took the brief time I was there that may have permanently changed my world view.

The trainer there was very eager to make sure we took phone calls by the end of our first day. These companies always want to put you in that spot. I’ve been a big guy most of my life – but imagine me hanging out at Tyrone Mall (the big shopping center in St. Petersburg) and having a Rays coach approach me, asking me if I could play catcher for the Rays the next day against the Yankees. That would be absurd! What chance would I have? What hopes would I have in succeeding and not being a laughing stock of the local sports media?

I’d been training all day, starting at 8:30 that morning – and it was all I could do to keep from being a deer in the headlights by the time I took calls. Somewhere in Ohio, the automatic dialer put me in touch with a woman who could barely speak due to a stroke. They taught us in training to be matter of fact, and don’t go out of your way to be polite. I went out of my way to be nice to the woman – that’s probably somebody’s mother, probably somebody living on borrowed time. Pardon me all to hell, but a damn energy bill didn’t seem all that important in retrospect.

The next morning, I take another call from a middle aged man – perhaps a decade or so older than I am. He put me through the paces as I was trying to switch him over. He asked me about rates – and the rates we were trying to hoodwink him over to were more expensive, though what my company offered was a fixed rate while what he had was a variable rate. He won the battle after a few objections – and I let him.

I wasn’t too long after that when I decided I had had enough. I got up, got my stuff – walked out. I walked home the two-mile distance back to the house on a leg that has seen better days. I also get quite winded walking that long, having to pause every few hundred yards or so.

I stopped by an office building near Freedom Lake Park, hoping someone I knew would take mercy on me and give me a lift. I sat a good 15-20 minutes at one point.”Throwing It All Away” by Genesis from the 80’s played over the loudspeaker.

Yeah. I lost it, sitting there. I’ve been throwing it away a while now.

Finding That Plus Side

Photo by Paula Schmidt on Pexels.com

The last few days have been a total microcosm of my life’s struggle. Always wanting others to be happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. Always trying to do something good, only to see the people I interact with be less than fair – so I guess you can say that in turn, I wasn’t being fair with myself in the long run.

My whole life has been like that. Wanting to believe in something that does not exist, upon closer examination. Every time I go back and think it might suddenly be there – nope.

I’m pretty sure after this last job debacle that I’m not a salesman (probably because I value politeness and respect over pushiness) – but yet, with the abundance of phone jobs in this area, I keep going down that road. In two weeks I will be 48. Outside of my radio career, I’ve wasted a couple of decades of my life trying to be something I’m not – then trying to do the same thing again.

I’m thinking that there’s something wrong with me that I’m not smart enough to figure this all out.

I have failed myself. I have failed my friends and family. This is the shame I must live with on a daily basis.

A boyfriend of my mother’s killed himself in 1996 in Tampa with pills mixed with alcohol. I’ve never mentioned that here, because I don’t think the ending of your own life makes things better for those around you – and I also think you go to hell for it.

Whatever happens with the rest of my time on this world, I do want to do something good with it so I wind up in heaven – because whatever exists after I die, I want to be somewhere nice. That makes sense, right?