Years are defined by two sets of three holidays.
In the summer, it’s Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day. In the fall/winter, it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day. Another such year has come and gone, and now the year of our Lord of 2015 takes center stage.
Here are the ground rules, such as they are:
I use the “Art Bell rules” for my predictions. I do not predict disasters in specific terms, though I may predict such in general terms. Nor do I predict deaths, or harm to any celebrities or political figures. These predictions are meant to be fun, not meant to be a death pool.
With that in mind, here we go.
1. Hillary Clinton will NOT run for President in 2016, but another woman, Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, DOES run, and appears to be the front-runner as 2015 ends, even over Vice President Joe Biden. Jeb Bush is the leading candidate on the GOP side.
2. Michelle Obama gets a divorce from Barack Obama, despite pleas from the President to wait until early 2017 when he’s out of the White House.
3. More social unrest in America follows after the events of Ferguson and NYC in 2014, with this year’s flashpoint being Cleveland, Ohio. The cop accused of shooting a 12 year old boy who had a toy gun in 2014 will be acquitted, leading to more unfortunate racial divisions and strife.
4. Chelsea Handler does a nightly talk show for Netflix, which gives the on-demand TV service record response and also causes hacking and bandwidth issues when she and all of her guests appear totally naked and unedited on screen in the debut show.
5. New England defeats Dallas in the 49th Super Bowl in February to win their 4th NFL title in 14 years. Bill Belichick retires as head coach from the Patriots and becomes the lead analyst on CBS’s coverage of the NFL just in time for their Super Bowl year culminating in February of 2016.
6. In other sports, San Antonio defeats Atlanta to win the NBA title, Boston rebounds from a last place finish last year to win the World Series against the San Diego Padres. Pittsburgh defeats Anaheim to win the Stanley Cup. Alabama defeats Oregon to win football’s national title, with fans demanding an 8-team playoff as soon as possible. The Lightning will be the best of the three Tampa Bay franchises this season, with the Bucs going 8-8 and the Rays going 75-87.
7. The Dow Jones Industrial Average will go over 20,000 for the first time ever before falling back down to about 16,000. Gas prices will go under $1.50 a gallon before going back up near $2.00 at year’s end.
8. The hottest reality show to debut this year will air on HBO and closely follow a member of the New York Police Department for the course of a year, and give the inside story as to how a near strike by the NYPD sometime in the summer is prevented by mayor Bill De Blasio. The biggest bomb (again) will be a revival of Utopia that airs this time on the USA Network, and does even more poorly than the 2014 FOX version.
9. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao finally have their much ballyhooed and long awaited fight, with Mayweather easily winning a 12 round decision, after which Pacquiao retires from boxing to totally focus on his political career. The fight revives interest in the sport amongst cable and network TV outlets, with two of the big four networks airing fight cards by year’s end.
10. The American Idol winner this year will be a 24 year-old cab driver from Las Vegas, Nevada. He will “accidentally” release some insider details about his contract on the local FOX station that causes a legal fight between himself and the show’s producers, eventually won by the winner and causes the downfall of Idol in the coming years.
Hope you enjoyed the predictions, and the happiest of the new year to you and yours!